I’m sitting with the audience. Chairs stretch infinitely to my right and left, like two mirrors held next to each other, with me in the middle. The plush red curtain rolls up to reveal an […]
kiss the rain.
This is a short play I wrote in the summer of 2017 on a flight to London. PROLOGUE VERNON You fly enough, you start forming habits to make it easier. Sandals instead of shoes. No […]
A Modern Proposal…
To make sure the kids of poor Americans don’t become useless assholes. by Reverend Jeff Vernier I can’t walk to the bodega on my block without seeing three different single mothers, all of them with […]
Your Weekly Horoscope
Astrology sure is a hot topic nowadays, so I’m gonna help teach how you can look at the stars and deduce the specific ways they exist to influence and/or justify your behavior! I’ll be using […]
Harry Harlow, The Lawful Evil Doctor
Psychology has advanced leaps and bounds because of Harry Harlow, famed doctor, and probable sociopath. Harlow worked in the early to middle twentieth century, conducting experiments focused on isolation. At the time, it was believed […]
Metallica Intros Are Really, REALLY Long
Two minutes into For Whom the Bell Tolls, you might wonder why you haven’t heard the first verse yet. That’s cause it’s a Metallica song- you’re always in for a long intro with those… How […]
My Five Year Plan
It’s important to write down goals you want to achieve. Here’s my tentative five year plan: Get wildly rich fast with minimal work (probably through selling cherry soda) Get bored of swimming in money after […]
