Emo Teen Cuts Himself While Shaving

Silly Bandz look even niftier covered in bloodstains, and no one would know that better than Alex Cooper, adolescent sadboi. He may hate his appearance, but that doesn’t mean he won’t keep up with it. Razors in both hands, Alex can trim his peach fuzz and let out enough blood to make a cult leader jealous at the same time.

Cooper will be the first to tell you no one understands him. Stretched between misquoting Walt Whitman on Twitter and doing pre-algebra homework, his life is one of constant sorrow. He wasn’t going to break his scheduled 12 hours a day of laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. Slicing while dicing was a clever way to cut corners… and himself.

If life is so fair, why do roses have thorns? He, uh… he wanted us to ask. Maybe it was rhetorical? It sounds pretty badass, the kid might be a total downer but at least he says cool stuff sometimes.

Emo Teen Cuts Himself While Shaving.

Silly Bandz are still relevant, right? Those things are timeless. Subscribe to Misfit Mementos on Patreon for an inside look at this post, and to help me buy more Silly Bandz.

Special thanks to Déjà Jade and The Dodson Family.

Cover Photo by Josh Sorenson on Unsplash.