Famous Babies I Could Beat In A Fist Fight

I hate babies. If any of them try to cross me, I will swing first without hesitation. Here’s a handful of babies I could easily take in a fight- as if they’d even stand a chance.

The Gerber Baby

Hey wait- this is the cover image from A Modern Proposal.

Hopefully it’s parents have saved pennies a day, because the hospital bill after I beat the shit out of The Gerber Baby is going to be high.

The Lindbergh Baby

Someone find this little booger-eater so I can feed it a knuckle sandwich.


Michael Jackson didn’t drop this one over the balcony, leaving me the perfect opportunity to uppercut him over the ledge.

The Radiant Baby

Babies represented the possibility of the future to NYC artist Keith Haring. They represent opponents who need to learn what reality is like to me.

Dolly the Sheep

Not a human child, just a cloned sheep. It’ll still bleed.

Success Kid Meme

This wretched little shit already has a fist clenched and his war face on, I’ve got every reason to expect an attack and strike first.

Famous Babies I Could Beat In A Fist Fight.