What’s The Best Way To Put Out A Grease Fire? (URGENT)

Say that you were frying some bacon and started a minor fire in the pan that quickly became a major fire and is currently spreading up your cabinetry- how would you put that out? I’ve already tried unplugging the stove but that didn’t do anything. Please respond soon!

Apparently water does NOT help. That doesn’t make any sense… what the hell have I been drinking out of fire hydrants all this time? The flaming grease just kind of splashed onto the carpet (which is now also ablaze). If you have any tips let me know! Posthaste!

OH GOD FLOUR WAS ALSO A POOR CHOICE. I guess I should’ve bought nitroglycerin-free because wow, what an impressive fireball that became. So much for my eyebrows. Again, I have to emphasize I would love some advice here.

Actually, never mind the original question, I’ve got a more pressing one. How do you move a burning log that’s currently blocking your only exit? My family and I would really like to know; call it a burning curiosity. Junior’s already seared his palms trying to budge it, and we’re getting really tired of holding our dearest belongings in this heat.

The window! That feels obvious in hindsight. What a shame my wife went back to save the dog though… Kind of ironic that he was already outside! Ain’t that just the way? Anyway, final question: do you need to cremate someone who’s already been burned alive?

What’s The Best Way To Put Out A Grease Fire? (URGENT)

Well, happy we could get all that sorted out, a classic fairytale ending! Wait, no, I meant “fireytale” ending. Follow @JeffShutUp to watch a star be born… wait, sorry again, I meant be burned.

Special thanks to Déjà Jade and The Dodson Family.

Cover Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash.